this is vegetarian duck.

Supposably. This is me. This is vegetarian duck. Mister Fridges the refrigerator "broke" a week ago so I've been cooking through all of the defrosting toko purchases.

I put "broke" in "quotes" because, as a serial headphone destroyer, I know an abused cable when I see one, and all Mister Fridges needed was a new power cord. But like any good proprietary hardware scheme it's not the kind of thing you want to mess with yourself. So a Bosch man came today, five loooong days after we called them, and he replaced the power cable and now everything is happy time in the fridge agains. He also pooped in our bathroom. Which is fine, probably, because he didn't charge us anything even though the warranty expired two weeks ago. Tit for tat and whatnot.

So like I was saying. I cooked with these over the weekend. Tofu Skin Loempias. Mmmmmmmmm.  And they are just as dry as they look. And chewy. But really, totally edible, it's an even better wrapper for any kind of fried spring roll because it actually tastes like something. Although I have the same complaints Mark Bittman had here: just a little too dry and chewy.

So next time I'll try a braised version, to try and juice them up a bit. OK. I leave you with Restaurant Ufuk.





wang's flavor.


hail, etc.

It's from Oh She Glows, and it was really really good. You need a real blender, not your budget zhoomer.


caesar dressing, vegan.

1/2 cup raw cashews
1 cup water

1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 or 2 tbsp lemon juice, to taste
1 or 2 tsp Dijon mustard, to taste
1 or 2 small garlic cloves, to taste
1/2 tbsp vegan Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp capers
1/2 teaspoon fine grain sea salt and pepper, or to taste




Time to reinvestigate MFSD. To quote, from our very own archives:
The basics of MFSDxiv are: mostly raw fruit and vegetables. A little fish. Very few grains. Very little fat, other than walnuts, almonds, olive oil, and avocado. No dairy. No sugar if I can help it, so this means that not all fruit is OK. Watermelon is OK, so all is not lost. Four or five quite small meals a day, the biggest being lunch. Nothing at all goes into the duck after 10pm. No alcohol.
I agree with all of this except no dairy. 4% fat cottage cheese is going to get me through this thing. There will be some attempts to introduce soy and hemp products, but mostly the goal will be to not really cook for myself, just put things in my mouse.

And how excited can I get about raw vegetables? Not at all. I will probably substitute pork a tiny bit.




So I was trying to have a stress-free day of cooking for company and wanted to have simple things on the menu. I made a condiment that's kind of the shit. I served it with grilled asparagus but it's good on literally everything so far.


lemon-caper mayonnaise. 
2 tbsp capers
2 small garlic cloves
zest of one lemon
1 cup good Dutch mayo
1 tsp lemon juice or to taste

Zhoom everytthing except mayo and lemon juice, add mayo and then add lemon juice to taste. Serve with everything.



we're back!

So, as 5 of you noticed, VDuck went dark for a couple of weeks. I was applying for a job with a challengingly perky young vegan blogger whose public disposition is laughably far away from that of your beloved VDuck. The application process was lengthy and borderline arduous, and just before I clicked on Submit I thought "let's have a quick look at VDuck to see just how footshootingly counterproductive it would be to have a potential employer read it."

So I had that quick look, aaaaaaand the second post out here was about my balls, so I decided, yeah, ok, ok, let's put things on pause for a couple weeks.

But! Then I failed. Was not hired. And so here we are againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

God, remember when a lack of punctuation at the end of a sentence was really mysterious and disturbing? I'm thinking of like the last sentence of a Jack Ritchie story in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine or an Alfred Hitchcock anthology or something, both of which I was thoroughly addicted to as a small child. Jeez, I get the heebie-jeebies just looking at the lists of stories. Anyway I seem to remember being totally spooked by that no-punctuation shit. 



This is not two slices of the worst-looking pepperoni pizza ever made. It's an unexpectedly good snack of roasted homemade sourdough, hummus, and Momofuku sweet pickled radishes. I'd serve it to someone.


sour notes.

3/4 cup starter
1 and 1/4 cup lukewarm water
1 tbsp maple syrup or honey
3 cups all-purpose flour, unbleached
1 and 1/2 tsp kosher salt

  1. Get two bowls. Combine the ingredients in one. Let rest for 10-20 minutes. While it is resting, lightly coat another medium-sized bowl with olive oil. The bowl needs to be a big enough to allow the dough to double in size.
  2. Work dough the absolute minimum to get things into a ballish shape, for me this was like 1 minute's work. You are not kneading. 
  3. Shape into ball and put into the oiled bowl, smooth-side down, and then flip it smooth-side up so that all sides of the dough are covered with oil. Cover bowl with plastic wrap.
  4. Let rise in a warm place at least 6 hours, folding every 30 minutes. 
  5. Form bread into a boule (a round loaf) and place on a square of parchment paper. With a wet serrated knife, cut a couple of slashes on the top. Cover loosely with a damp towel and allow to rise for 1½- 2 hours.
  6. In the last 30 or 40 minutes of the last rise, move your oven rack to the bottom third of oven. Put a cast iron Dutch oven with lid in the cold oven and preheat to 450º for 30 minutes. This temperature is a bit under debate, or our oven's ability to maintain this temperature reliably is under debate. Something is under debate. 
  7. Remove the lid from the Dutch oven and put the boule in by picking up the corners of the parchment and gently setting it in. Be very careful, don't forget that you just took the Dutch oven out of an inferally hot oven 10 seconds ago so it's probably still "warm". 
  8. Put the lid on the Dutch oven and bake for 12-13 minutes. Uncover and bake another 12-13 minutes.
  9. Remove and place on a wire rack to cool for 30 minutes. DO NOT slice the bread until it has set for 30 minutes, everyone insists that this is completely important, though it is wholly inimical to the enjoyment of bread.